TWO YEARS!...Maybe I'll Just Stay Forever?

On July 11, 2011 I stepped on a plane leaving SFO bound for Madagascar and began a pretty cool journey. Over the past two years, I’ve tried to use this blog as a forum to share my little piece of unique Madagascar. But the reality of living here isn’t always so simple to explain. Madagascar is arguably the poorest country in the world. It’s number four on the list of top ten countries to experience a coup in 2013. It’s challenging for Peace Corps and other aid organizations to work effectively with the Malagasy government because of Madagascar’s political situation. The past five months have personally been my most difficult as a Peace Corps volunteer. Every other week seemed to bring a new setback; it was like trying to swim upstream. After struggling for months to secure grant money to fund my malaria education project, I faced the hard truth that my project was just not going to happen how I dreamed it. That was really hard to let go. I felt frustrated as a volunteer. My community members and counterparts seemed unconcerned and uninterested in the project once the going got rough so I felt very much on my own, something I was not prepared to feel almost two years into my service. Ironically, it was at this most difficult point that I had to decide one way or the other if I wanted to extend my service for a third year.

I considered extension abstractly for the better part of my second year; it seemed like a good idea, and I liked it here enough. Why not? But my recent struggles really made me take a hard look at my motivations for staying in this country. I grappled with my decision and definitely got a little emo and cried about it and yelled a few times to some sympathetic if not exasperated listeners. But in the end, it was easy. Of course I would stay. Madagascar isn’t finished with me, and I’m not finished with Madagascar. There are still many more things for me to learn, and many more things I want to accomplish here. My difficulties over the past few months are just another example of learning to live what has become my Peace Corps Madagascar mantra: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” WORD. Ok, so it’s a cliché, but its true for me! So many things in my life are out of my control, and finally, FINALLY understanding that there are just some things I can’t change was a huge breakthrough for me. So I adjusted. I focused on little projects; mini-trainings of community health workers, a community mural, and small scale student-leadership trainings with a supportive organization, Pact. It was through this collaboration that I found the partner I have been looking for and the perfect fit for my third year extension. I am happy to share now that I will continue living in Madagascar for another year as a part of the Pact Madagascar team! A little background, Pact is an international NGO based out of the US that recently began an education and student leadership initiative in the Fort Dauphin/Anosy region. They are taking me on as a third year Peace Corps volunteer, and together we will focus on empowering local youths with the knowledge necessary to be leaders within their communities and to lead healthy and successful lives. Visit them at http://pactworld.org/. NICE.

Looking back on my two years as a Peace Corps volunteer is very enlightening. Even though there have been difficulties over the past months, there have also been really awesome experiences. I was able to transfer the grant money I received from Peace Corps to my site mate Sam, and she and I are going to continue working on malaria education over the next year in Commune Mahatalaky. Starting the student Peer Leadership trainings with Pact is really amazing. Seeing students learn and stretch their minds to understand completely new concepts of leadership is a privilege. I visited Reunion Island and climbed some mountains and scuba dived in some oceans. It’s not all hard work and frustration, but sometimes you have to remind yourself to remember the fun stuff more than the not-fun stuff :).

Has the Peace Corps always been easy? Definitely no. It’s sometimes an extremely isolating and lonely experience. Has the Peace Corps been rewarding? Immensely. When even getting a child to wash their hands can be a victory, you learn to celebrate every little thing. Would I commit to the Peace Corps all over again? Absolutely. I believe in the mission here and I believe in what I’m doing here, even when it’s hard and even when I cry and even when I’m so frustrated I have to go out to a rice field and scream. I think this country can continue to teach me humility, patience, and most of all, joy in even the smallest of things. I think I can continue to learn and grow with Pact as a partner in my third year. I am excited about what is still in store for me in Madagascar and I am thankful for the opportunity to finish what I started when I stepped off that plane two years ago. 

It's the little little things

The months go on, and I’m in the last part of my service. Where does the time go? Over the course of my stay here in Madagascar, I have mused more than once on the perception of time as a Peace Corps volunteer; there’s too much time, there’s not enough time, time goes so fast, time goes so slow…and so on. Even after all these months, those slow Peace Corps days still get to me. In order to combat that feeling of purposelessness that gets to you on your worst days, I started to compile a list of the little things and memories that I love so much here in Madagascar and that make my time and my work worthwhile and fulfilling. I realized pretty early on in this whole journey that my legacy would be measured by my relationships and experiences even more than my work and projects; this list is a reminder of that. I read back my own memories, and I can’t help but smile a little to remember all these little things that have shaped me over my time in Mahatalaky. How lucky am I.

·      The first time I ever floated on my back in the Indian Ocean in Ste Luce and that feeling of total weightlessness that you only get in super salty ocean water.

·      Watching Malagasy music videos with 6-year-old Christian every night for the first 4 months I lived in Mahatalaky and the way he would look at me with his big brown eyes and quiz me on who the best Malagasy singers were.

·      My first rainy season in Madagascar, watching Disney movies on the floor of my house with Erica, Christian, and Elena.

·      How obsessed every single person in my village was with this song back in October 2011: Benono! 

·      Four year-old Elena falling asleep in my lap every morning at 10am during my first 4 months at site. This little girl alone made me feel like I was finally a part of the community.

·      The classic Madagascar thunderstorm that rolls in so quickly you don’t even notice until you feel the thunder rumbling beneath your feet.

·      Watching the Mayor wade around in giant galoshes and a rain suit during said thunderstorms.

·      The joy written all over the kids’ faces when we’re doodling with chalk all over my house.

·      Christian’s bright pink snow pants that he wears on every single rainy day.

·      Blowing bubbles for the kids until I see stars from oxygen deprivation. The way they squeal with delight as they try and catch them, and the way they gaze with awe and wonder as they watch one float away on the breeze into the sky.

·      Sitting around the yard as the sun sets and the Mayor strums some songs on the guitar while the kids dance.

·      Washing my hair upside down with a bucket of water in the middle of the day, just because it was hot season and I needed to cool down.

·      The time Patricia rearranged my whole little house and I had no idea what was happening until it was nearly fully completed. Just goes to show that after a year and a half I still have no idea what’s going on most of the time.

Little things like this have made my time in Madagascar the most amazing and growing experience I have ever had. Just wanted to share! Bisou.